I have a lot of thoughts! You are watching TV so I shall write them here. Also that's what you're supposed to do with fanfiction xD
So...hmm. I have mixed feelings about this. On one hand, it's absolutely fascinating and I'm curious about so many things! I love that you've written a fic that is almost entirely epic porn, but at the same time you've subtly created a fully realized world. Not many people manage to do both in the same story. You mentioned before that you have problems with over-detailing things, but I would say that you haven't done that at all here. There's just enough detail to make the world come alive without bogging anything down. There's also plenty left unexplained, which just makes it all the more fascinating.
I also love Sho in this. I can totally see Sho having this sort of sexual fantasy, and the dub-con sort of...fits him well, if that makes sense. It's not at all what I was thinking it would be (in a good way) and I can definitely see Sho as the type to act super embarrassed but actually be turned on xD
And I love that Jun invents magical sex toys. It's so perfect and I kind of want to shop at his store :3
Aiba...I'm a little less enthused about? I'm having a hard time picturing him as quite this sadistic. There are parts where he is so perfectly Aiba to me - how he's so lighthearted and non-chalant about things Sho is freaking out over, how enthusiastic and openly sexual he is when Sho finally touches him, the "ready to DO THINGS LETS DO IT SHO" as you put it in another comment xD But on occasion there seems to be somewhat of a darker side to him that's very controlling and unforgiving, which I have a harder time picturing in Aiba.
But still, I want to know all of the things rinalin mentioned, so my lack of enthusiasm for some of these kinks (which in the end was mostly just the enema) and uncertainty about Aiba aside, I'm pretty excited to see where this goes :D
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So...hmm. I have mixed feelings about this. On one hand, it's absolutely fascinating and I'm curious about so many things! I love that you've written a fic that is almost entirely epic porn, but at the same time you've subtly created a fully realized world. Not many people manage to do both in the same story. You mentioned before that you have problems with over-detailing things, but I would say that you haven't done that at all here. There's just enough detail to make the world come alive without bogging anything down. There's also plenty left unexplained, which just makes it all the more fascinating.
I also love Sho in this. I can totally see Sho having this sort of sexual fantasy, and the dub-con sort of...fits him well, if that makes sense. It's not at all what I was thinking it would be (in a good way) and I can definitely see Sho as the type to act super embarrassed but actually be turned on xD
And I love that Jun invents magical sex toys. It's so perfect and I kind of want to shop at his store :3
Aiba...I'm a little less enthused about? I'm having a hard time picturing him as quite this sadistic. There are parts where he is so perfectly Aiba to me - how he's so lighthearted and non-chalant about things Sho is freaking out over, how enthusiastic and openly sexual he is when Sho finally touches him, the "ready to DO THINGS LETS DO IT SHO" as you put it in another comment xD But on occasion there seems to be somewhat of a darker side to him that's very controlling and unforgiving, which I have a harder time picturing in Aiba.
But still, I want to know all of the things rinalin mentioned, so my lack of enthusiasm for some of these kinks (which in the end was mostly just the enema) and uncertainty about Aiba aside, I'm pretty excited to see where this goes :D