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Ages 5 and Under
Ages 5 and Under
Pairing: Ohmiya
Rating: PG
Word Count: 1893
Summary: Hit-and-run babysitting.
A/N: Prompted by![[personal profile]](https://www.dreamwidth.org/img/silk/identity/user.png)
tsubomi, and thus dedicated to her. Beta by the amazing primroseshows.
"Oh, Kazu, thank goodness," his sister says, and Nino doesn't think to run away in time even though she's putting her wallet in her purse and zipping it up in one matter-of-fact stroke. "I have no idea where Mom is but I'm running late. Shoutarou is asleep and Nana is in the living room, and you can make pasta or something for dinner, I don't care as long as they eat. Thanks!"
"You--what?" Nino says, backing into Ohno as Kaori bustles by and starts strapping on her sling-backed red pumps. He hasn't seen his sister in three weeks and this is not how he envisioned their next encounter.
"Ohno-kun, don't let my idiot brother try to force diaper duty on you, you know he's perfectly capable," Kaori says, and then she's shutting the door behind her.
Nino stands in shock for a minute. There's silence in the house; it's as if there's no one else here, but he knows that's deception.
It's not that he doesn't like his sister's kids. Nana is pretty cute, after all, and always shares her cookies with him, though her penchant for trying to take his DS out of his hands when he's playing is moderately frustrating. And Shoutarou's got the goofiest, happiest smile a one-and-a-half-year-old could hope to have. It's just that he likes to shriek more than he likes to smile.
Plus, this was supposed to be Nino's time with Ohno.
"Um," says Ohno.
"You're staying," Nino says firmly, and Ohno gives him a rueful look.
"Uncle Kazu?" Nana is standing in the door, dressed in a skirt-and-shirt set Nino hasn't seen before. Unsurprisingly, it is pink. Nana refuses to wear anything that isn't pink. "Uncle Kazu!" she squeals, darting forward and hugging him awkwardly around the thighs with such force that he has to grab onto Ohno's arm to keep himself from tipping over. "Uncle Kazu, Uncle Kazu, look! For you!" She thrusts something up at him, something red and green, and he realizes she's been doing origami and that this is probably a tulip. It's drowning in tape.
"Ah, wow!" he says in an exaggerated voice, twisting it around in his fingers as he gently pries her off. She hops from one foot to the other, grinning wide, but then she notices Ohno hovering behind Nino and stops and stares at him with big, bashful eyes.
"Uta no Oniisan?" she breathes, and Nino can't help laughing at Ohno's stunned expression.
"No!" says Ohno, his hands up in the air. He's still in his leather jacket, his cap jauntily crooked on his head. He looks exactly like Yano Kenta, down to the defensive posture. "I'm just Ohno, just Ohno."
"Uta no Oniisan!" Nana repeats, throwing her arms up in the air, and that's when Nino hears the telltale wailing from down the hall. "Oh! Shoutarou's awake!" Nana takes off in the direction of the cries, her bare feet thundering over the wooden flooring.
Ohno relaxes visibly. "She's a very energetic child," he says diplomatically. "...Does she have an off button?"
"Unfortunately not," Nino says in tones of commiseration. Then he hears a thunk, and Shoutarou starts crying louder.
When they get into the living room, Shoutarou is lying on his back and crying and Nana is trying to pick him up in her arms, though he's doing a fair impersonation of a wet noodle and sliding right back out. Ohno peers over Nino's shoulder. "...I think I left something in the car," he says.
"You aren't leaving me to deal with this by myself," Nino mutters darkly.
"I thought we were going to have sex," Ohno mourns.
"We can have sex in your head if that's what keeps you here," Nino says, and sets about gathering up Shoutarou, who is no less a wet noodle with him. "Nana-chan, why don't you show Uta no Oniisan how to do something pretty with origami? Maybe he can teach you something too." Nino has no idea if Ohno knows how to make anything with origami, but he does know that Ohno folds and unfolds his napkins obsessively, so he should be able to make do.
"Shoutarou's stinky," Nana informs him, and then skips over to the couch and gathers up her crinkly, multi-coloured paper.
Nino exchanges a glance with Ohno. "You gave me origami duty," Ohno says, and is sitting down next to Nana faster than Nino can protest, tuning Nino out like a pro. Nino feels vaguely abandoned.
Shoutarou's stuff is all out in plain view, which is helpful, though he squirms like a snake and keeps trying to sit up while Nino is laying him out on the blanket. He hasn't stopped crying, and Nino's not keen on the shrieking. "Hold still! Please, please hold still," he says, unsnapping the crotch of Shoutarou's duck-covered onesie. He takes a deep breath, holds it, and takes off the diaper.
"Oh man, what are you, a dump truck?" he says, giving Shoutarou a poke in the belly, which just makes him kick his fat legs.
"That reeks," Ohno puts in helpfully, looking over Nana's head and then quickly returning to folding useless beige squares.
"Shoutarou had curry for lunch," Nana informs them in her adult voice, and then: "No, no, that's not right, like this." She undoes Ohno's folding and turns it upside down, pointing imperially. Ohno just looks confused, so she repeats some of the steps for him while Nino tries to not think about the fact that he's wiping off Shoutarou's ass.
After the diaper thing, the rest of the night gets a little easier. Nana has hearts-for-eyes wherever Ohno is concerned, 'Uncle Kazu' being too standard a presence in her life to be cool at all, so she sticks to Ohno and teaches him how to play her magical girl rhythm game on the DS while Nino gets dinner ready. His pot of water is boiling when Ohno pokes his nose in.
"There's something stuck to your leg," he says conversationally.
Nino glances down to where Shoutarou is wrapped awkwardly around his calf. "He's talking about you," he informs the toddler, whose gaze is very direct and entirely innocent. He's finally smiling, showing off the eight teeth he's managed to grow. It's impossible not to smile back. "Ohchan, hand me the salt? It's in the fourth cupboard over there."
"You've gone soft," Ohno says, fetching it.
"Is Nana asleep, or something?" Nino asks, stirring the salt into the water before he adds a huge splash of pasta.
Ohno scratches sheepishly at his ear as he watches Nino's hands. "No, I told her I was using the toilet, but she didn't want to let me go. She's got arms like steel."
"Well you better hurry back or she'll come looking for you," Nino says, and bends down to pick up Shoutarou, letting him watch the water start to bubble and froth again. "Hot hot hot," he murmurs, bouncing him gently.
Shoutarou's fascinated for all of ten seconds before he presses his baby hand over Nino's mouth. "Kaduu," he says, and Ohno starts to laugh.
"What is that? Is he saying your name?"
"Maybe," Nino says around pudgy fingers. Making dinner is not a fantastic time for experimentation, but Nino's all about multi-tasking, so he stirs while he peers at Shoutarou's happy, scrunched up face and says, "Ohno."
"Ohdo," says Shoutarou, flapping his arms up and down like Aiba trying to imitate an exotic bird.
"Yes," Nino says, and decides to call Ohno that for the rest of the night.
Nana's patience proves to hold only so long; she appears in the doorway with her metallic rose DS and is a flurry of footsteps the moment she sees Ohno is actually available. Nino deftly sidesteps and puts Shoutarou on the floor, where he toddles a few paces away and falls down on his bottom. "Uta no Oniisan, look, look," she says, pushing her DS into his space. The DS is making trilling, sweet sounds that are nothing like any game Nino has ever played, so he tries to get a glance at the screen after she stops waving it around. "I passed level three!"
"Oh, really?" Ohno says with that chagrined look that makes Nino suspect she's been updating him on all her progress since before the supposed bathroom trip. "Well, then... can you... Can you get to the end of level four?"
Nino snickers.
Nana doesn't actually beat level four. Nino doesn't make her put away her DS during dinner (his mother and his sister have always attempted to impress upon him that having good table manners is non-synonymous with using handheld game systems while eating, though Nino has never followed their logic) but she ends up falling over a ravine anyway and giving up in disgust. That's all the better for Ohno, who had to look at the screen each time she found a cherry or a pink heart or the satin ribbon that grants extra style points.
Nana's easy to deal with during dinner, because she actually eats by herself. Shoutarou is another matter.
"But it's the same," Nino insists as Shoutarou makes grabby hands for Ohno's tea-filled plastic cup. It doesn't work, though: Shoutarou's determined and has eyes for nothing else. "Fine. Ohdo, gimme your cup."
"I'm not Ohdo," Ohno says with a wrinkled nose, but switches without further complaint.
Of course Shoutarou dribbles down his chin and right onto the crotch of Nino's jeans.
"Mommy always holds the cup for him," Nana announces before she pops her chopsticks into her mouth, pasta attached.
"You could have mentioned that earlier," Nino mutters as he wipes futilely at the dark patch of tea. "Don't say anything," he adds, jabbing a finger at Ohno.
"What do you think I am? There are kids present," Ohno says innocently.
"Ah ah ah," says Shoutarou, and sticks his whole chubby hand into Nino's pasta bowl.
"...Just great," says Nino, defeated.
Nino opts to be the one to clean up the kitchen, because that means Ohno has to put the kids to bed. After giving Nana explicit instructions to brush her teeth properly, Nino lets them go. Shoutarou is already half asleep, his head on Ohno's shoulder, eyelashes slow-blinking with dreamy softness.
He's almost finished when Ohno shuffles back in. "She wanted me to sing her a lullaby," he says, bemused, coming to hover uselessly near Nino as he wipes the pan dry.
"Did you?"
"Yeah. Kumorinochi," he adds, before Nino can ask. "She fell asleep before I got to the chorus though." And then, almost like an afterthought, "She was pretty cute. But if I never see that video game again, it'll be too soon."
"Ah," Nino says, flicking the dishtowel at him playfully. Ohno blinks, but doesn't move, and the towel stops short three inches from his nose before going limp. "Too bad--I got that for you for your birthday."
Ohno laughs, "Liar."
"You never know," Nino says, smiling mysteriously.
Ohno ends up with Magical Girl Pretty Cure for his birthday, the card on the package reading To Uta no Onizan, Frum Nana, PS I past level six!!! and Nino takes a picture of his priceless expression.
Pairing: Ohmiya
Rating: PG
Word Count: 1893
Summary: Hit-and-run babysitting.
A/N: Prompted by
tsubomi, and thus dedicated to her. Beta by the amazing primroseshows."Oh, Kazu, thank goodness," his sister says, and Nino doesn't think to run away in time even though she's putting her wallet in her purse and zipping it up in one matter-of-fact stroke. "I have no idea where Mom is but I'm running late. Shoutarou is asleep and Nana is in the living room, and you can make pasta or something for dinner, I don't care as long as they eat. Thanks!"
"You--what?" Nino says, backing into Ohno as Kaori bustles by and starts strapping on her sling-backed red pumps. He hasn't seen his sister in three weeks and this is not how he envisioned their next encounter.
"Ohno-kun, don't let my idiot brother try to force diaper duty on you, you know he's perfectly capable," Kaori says, and then she's shutting the door behind her.
Nino stands in shock for a minute. There's silence in the house; it's as if there's no one else here, but he knows that's deception.
It's not that he doesn't like his sister's kids. Nana is pretty cute, after all, and always shares her cookies with him, though her penchant for trying to take his DS out of his hands when he's playing is moderately frustrating. And Shoutarou's got the goofiest, happiest smile a one-and-a-half-year-old could hope to have. It's just that he likes to shriek more than he likes to smile.
Plus, this was supposed to be Nino's time with Ohno.
"Um," says Ohno.
"You're staying," Nino says firmly, and Ohno gives him a rueful look.
"Uncle Kazu?" Nana is standing in the door, dressed in a skirt-and-shirt set Nino hasn't seen before. Unsurprisingly, it is pink. Nana refuses to wear anything that isn't pink. "Uncle Kazu!" she squeals, darting forward and hugging him awkwardly around the thighs with such force that he has to grab onto Ohno's arm to keep himself from tipping over. "Uncle Kazu, Uncle Kazu, look! For you!" She thrusts something up at him, something red and green, and he realizes she's been doing origami and that this is probably a tulip. It's drowning in tape.
"Ah, wow!" he says in an exaggerated voice, twisting it around in his fingers as he gently pries her off. She hops from one foot to the other, grinning wide, but then she notices Ohno hovering behind Nino and stops and stares at him with big, bashful eyes.
"Uta no Oniisan?" she breathes, and Nino can't help laughing at Ohno's stunned expression.
"No!" says Ohno, his hands up in the air. He's still in his leather jacket, his cap jauntily crooked on his head. He looks exactly like Yano Kenta, down to the defensive posture. "I'm just Ohno, just Ohno."
"Uta no Oniisan!" Nana repeats, throwing her arms up in the air, and that's when Nino hears the telltale wailing from down the hall. "Oh! Shoutarou's awake!" Nana takes off in the direction of the cries, her bare feet thundering over the wooden flooring.
Ohno relaxes visibly. "She's a very energetic child," he says diplomatically. "...Does she have an off button?"
"Unfortunately not," Nino says in tones of commiseration. Then he hears a thunk, and Shoutarou starts crying louder.
When they get into the living room, Shoutarou is lying on his back and crying and Nana is trying to pick him up in her arms, though he's doing a fair impersonation of a wet noodle and sliding right back out. Ohno peers over Nino's shoulder. "...I think I left something in the car," he says.
"You aren't leaving me to deal with this by myself," Nino mutters darkly.
"I thought we were going to have sex," Ohno mourns.
"We can have sex in your head if that's what keeps you here," Nino says, and sets about gathering up Shoutarou, who is no less a wet noodle with him. "Nana-chan, why don't you show Uta no Oniisan how to do something pretty with origami? Maybe he can teach you something too." Nino has no idea if Ohno knows how to make anything with origami, but he does know that Ohno folds and unfolds his napkins obsessively, so he should be able to make do.
"Shoutarou's stinky," Nana informs him, and then skips over to the couch and gathers up her crinkly, multi-coloured paper.
Nino exchanges a glance with Ohno. "You gave me origami duty," Ohno says, and is sitting down next to Nana faster than Nino can protest, tuning Nino out like a pro. Nino feels vaguely abandoned.
Shoutarou's stuff is all out in plain view, which is helpful, though he squirms like a snake and keeps trying to sit up while Nino is laying him out on the blanket. He hasn't stopped crying, and Nino's not keen on the shrieking. "Hold still! Please, please hold still," he says, unsnapping the crotch of Shoutarou's duck-covered onesie. He takes a deep breath, holds it, and takes off the diaper.
"Oh man, what are you, a dump truck?" he says, giving Shoutarou a poke in the belly, which just makes him kick his fat legs.
"That reeks," Ohno puts in helpfully, looking over Nana's head and then quickly returning to folding useless beige squares.
"Shoutarou had curry for lunch," Nana informs them in her adult voice, and then: "No, no, that's not right, like this." She undoes Ohno's folding and turns it upside down, pointing imperially. Ohno just looks confused, so she repeats some of the steps for him while Nino tries to not think about the fact that he's wiping off Shoutarou's ass.
After the diaper thing, the rest of the night gets a little easier. Nana has hearts-for-eyes wherever Ohno is concerned, 'Uncle Kazu' being too standard a presence in her life to be cool at all, so she sticks to Ohno and teaches him how to play her magical girl rhythm game on the DS while Nino gets dinner ready. His pot of water is boiling when Ohno pokes his nose in.
"There's something stuck to your leg," he says conversationally.
Nino glances down to where Shoutarou is wrapped awkwardly around his calf. "He's talking about you," he informs the toddler, whose gaze is very direct and entirely innocent. He's finally smiling, showing off the eight teeth he's managed to grow. It's impossible not to smile back. "Ohchan, hand me the salt? It's in the fourth cupboard over there."
"You've gone soft," Ohno says, fetching it.
"Is Nana asleep, or something?" Nino asks, stirring the salt into the water before he adds a huge splash of pasta.
Ohno scratches sheepishly at his ear as he watches Nino's hands. "No, I told her I was using the toilet, but she didn't want to let me go. She's got arms like steel."
"Well you better hurry back or she'll come looking for you," Nino says, and bends down to pick up Shoutarou, letting him watch the water start to bubble and froth again. "Hot hot hot," he murmurs, bouncing him gently.
Shoutarou's fascinated for all of ten seconds before he presses his baby hand over Nino's mouth. "Kaduu," he says, and Ohno starts to laugh.
"What is that? Is he saying your name?"
"Maybe," Nino says around pudgy fingers. Making dinner is not a fantastic time for experimentation, but Nino's all about multi-tasking, so he stirs while he peers at Shoutarou's happy, scrunched up face and says, "Ohno."
"Ohdo," says Shoutarou, flapping his arms up and down like Aiba trying to imitate an exotic bird.
"Yes," Nino says, and decides to call Ohno that for the rest of the night.
Nana's patience proves to hold only so long; she appears in the doorway with her metallic rose DS and is a flurry of footsteps the moment she sees Ohno is actually available. Nino deftly sidesteps and puts Shoutarou on the floor, where he toddles a few paces away and falls down on his bottom. "Uta no Oniisan, look, look," she says, pushing her DS into his space. The DS is making trilling, sweet sounds that are nothing like any game Nino has ever played, so he tries to get a glance at the screen after she stops waving it around. "I passed level three!"
"Oh, really?" Ohno says with that chagrined look that makes Nino suspect she's been updating him on all her progress since before the supposed bathroom trip. "Well, then... can you... Can you get to the end of level four?"
Nino snickers.
Nana doesn't actually beat level four. Nino doesn't make her put away her DS during dinner (his mother and his sister have always attempted to impress upon him that having good table manners is non-synonymous with using handheld game systems while eating, though Nino has never followed their logic) but she ends up falling over a ravine anyway and giving up in disgust. That's all the better for Ohno, who had to look at the screen each time she found a cherry or a pink heart or the satin ribbon that grants extra style points.
Nana's easy to deal with during dinner, because she actually eats by herself. Shoutarou is another matter.
"But it's the same," Nino insists as Shoutarou makes grabby hands for Ohno's tea-filled plastic cup. It doesn't work, though: Shoutarou's determined and has eyes for nothing else. "Fine. Ohdo, gimme your cup."
"I'm not Ohdo," Ohno says with a wrinkled nose, but switches without further complaint.
Of course Shoutarou dribbles down his chin and right onto the crotch of Nino's jeans.
"Mommy always holds the cup for him," Nana announces before she pops her chopsticks into her mouth, pasta attached.
"You could have mentioned that earlier," Nino mutters as he wipes futilely at the dark patch of tea. "Don't say anything," he adds, jabbing a finger at Ohno.
"What do you think I am? There are kids present," Ohno says innocently.
"Ah ah ah," says Shoutarou, and sticks his whole chubby hand into Nino's pasta bowl.
"...Just great," says Nino, defeated.
Nino opts to be the one to clean up the kitchen, because that means Ohno has to put the kids to bed. After giving Nana explicit instructions to brush her teeth properly, Nino lets them go. Shoutarou is already half asleep, his head on Ohno's shoulder, eyelashes slow-blinking with dreamy softness.
He's almost finished when Ohno shuffles back in. "She wanted me to sing her a lullaby," he says, bemused, coming to hover uselessly near Nino as he wipes the pan dry.
"Did you?"
"Yeah. Kumorinochi," he adds, before Nino can ask. "She fell asleep before I got to the chorus though." And then, almost like an afterthought, "She was pretty cute. But if I never see that video game again, it'll be too soon."
"Ah," Nino says, flicking the dishtowel at him playfully. Ohno blinks, but doesn't move, and the towel stops short three inches from his nose before going limp. "Too bad--I got that for you for your birthday."
Ohno laughs, "Liar."
"You never know," Nino says, smiling mysteriously.
Ohno ends up with Magical Girl Pretty Cure for his birthday, the card on the package reading To Uta no Onizan, Frum Nana, PS I past level six!!! and Nino takes a picture of his priceless expression.